After an almost two year break, I have started blogging again. This blog is drastically different and will be the only one like it. It is personal. It does not included any photos or funny little antidotes. Just an honest story and a personal voice of gratitude to a former teacher.
I graduated from High School in Columbus, Ohio in 1978. I am sure you are doing the math, I am 61 years old. I started my school years the same as millions of children do, with great excitement and eager to learn. I loved Kindergarten through 2nd grade, and then my school experience turned South. From the third grade on I was teased and bullied to the point that I would become physically ill in the morning before school. This of course was in the 1960's and schools were not equipped to address this type of problem, nor unfortunately were my loving parents. They sure did try though. To this day I have a hard time sharing what was said and done to me. This blog is the first time my children have even heard about my experiences. It is a lot easier to write about it than to have a face to face conversation. Unfortunately, the tears still flow.
The title of this blog is to bring attention to the power that teachers have to make a child's school experience positive or negative. I truly believe that there are people that are meant to teach, and those who were not. Here is a case of the latter. My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. C, definitely soured me on school. I was having so many physical issues with my health due to the bullying, and my parents were taking me to specialists to try to find the problem, and in hindsight counseling was what was needed. But, in the 60s kids were not inclined to complain, or make waves in school. We would never have spoken badly of our teachers to our parents. We had a healthy respect, and in some cases, fear for both. This was a time when corporal punishment was alive and well in schools. We didn't have special programs to talk about our mental well-being or even understand what bullying was. I am sure that at that time the same could be said for teachers. No special training to identify the signs of a child in emotional distress. Ms. C was an older woman, I would guess in her 50s, and just mean. Mrs. C did not like the fact that I missed so much school, she would talk about me openly in front of the class, berate me, talk to other teachers loudly in the hall about me, keep me in class during recess to make me catch up on work (which alienated me from my classmates), and there were days that she would be just a bit physical by pushing my chair, or bump me as I went past her. It brings tears to my eyes just writing this. What she may not have known, or maybe she intended, is that she fed the fire of all those kids that were already bullying me. She gave them just the encouragement they needed. I was such a small kid and very shy and it really was too much for me to handle. Sixth grade was not any better when I had Mrs. W, Mrs. C's best friend. Although Mrs. W was not physical with me, she was just as verbally abusive.
I moved on to Jr. High with low self esteem, and the same kids moved with me from Elementary School. Better environment, but still not a happy student experience . Then I went to High School. I don't remember the first year I had Mrs. H.B. for Home Economics/Sewing, but to say she was a blessing is an understatement. She was a young teacher, well I was 16ish and thought all teacher were much older, and she made me fall in love with sewing. She was such a great teacher, and she seemed to love the subject matter she was teaching. She paid attention to me, encouraged me, and complimented and displayed my work. She taught me and inspired me. I was not this awkward dorky teenager, I was a budding seamstress.
That following Summer I worked at the lemon shake stand at the Ohio State Fair for the two weeks the Fair was held. I worked long hours, and had many bee stings, to make the $150 I was paid for the pleasure. My older sister took me to some yard sales and at one I found a portable Singer Sewing Machine for $50 and bought it. I am not sure if that was a good price back then, but it was one of the best purchases of my life. My Mom was an outstanding seamstress, and she was so proud of me. What 17 year old girl spends her hard earned money on a sewing machine? Well, Me!!
When I went back to school for my Senior year and told Mrs. H.B. She was so supportive and showed so much interest in my special purchase. She encouraged me to do extra projects and I could even take projects home and work on them. We learned other life skills in her class, and I enjoyed those as well, but sewing was a life changer for me. It allowed me to really excel at something I loved doing, in a safe environment, with a teacher that cared. What huge contrast between my 5th grade school experience and my junior and senior years in high school. That was because of Mrs. H.B.
I have over the years shared these experiences with one of my older sisters and she shared that she too was bullied in School. It is funny that we both kept all that hurt and anger of those years to ourselves until we were in or late 50s and 60s. It just shows that the effects of bullying does not go away after graduation, you carry that all through your life. I remember when my kids started school I made sure that I got involved in their school and education to make sure they had a positive experience. That experience not only helped them, but it helped me gain confidence in myself too. I gained self esteem, held state office in PTA, spoke and held workshops at conventions, and became a parent leader in my community. Yet, there was always that fear, that someone was going to say something critical or hurtful about me and make me feel like that 5th grader all over again. Even when I was a Aide and Secretary in two different Middle Schools, kids would say something about me or call me names. Kids being kids I guess, yet it threw me right back into Elementary school on the playground and classroom with the bullies. I am sure that reaction will never go away.
A positive outcome came after a stay with my sister a few years ago and our conversations about our bullying experiences. During those conversations I told my sister about what a huge impact Mrs H.B. had on me and how I wish I could tell her that. So, after I returned home I got on Facebook to see if I could find Mrs. H.B.. I found someone that had the same name and her profile picture looked just like her, so I sent her a message on Messenger over a year ago asking if she was my High School Home Economics teacher. On March 18, 2021 she replied YES! I wrote back thanking her for her kindness and for how much she helped me in High School. She was so gracious and appreciated me looking her up and letting her know what a positive impact she had on my life. I think everyone should have that conversation with the people that had a positive influence on them.
We shared our bios from 1978 on, and I realized that we still share the love of sewing. She stopped teaching from 1979 until 1997 and then went back to teaching, but this time in Special Education. That is not surprising to me knowing her kindness and encouragement to me those many years ago. I am sure she was wonderful at her new chosen career, and her students were probably better for having her in their lives. I sure know I was.
