Amusing and Absurd Meeting Quotes

I get quotes sent to me all the time. These are quotes that people say in meetings, or forums,
that either leave you laughing or scratching your head.

Quote 1: “We don’t want to go down a slippery slope and fall into a rat hole”.

This is obviously someone who is cautious of the outdoors.  Afraid of slopes and rats.  I think they may have meant a rabbit hole, but at least they stuck with an animal hole.

Quote 2: “There ain't a dog too dead to kick one more time.”

Why is this person kicking dogs at all, let alone a dead one. PETA needs to pay this person a visit.
I would guess this same person also beats a dead horse.

Quote 3: Associate: “Make sure to document all of this because this is great for the symposium.” New Hire: “What is a symposium.” Associate: “We have some work to do.”

This one is a vocabulary problem. Obviously the word symposium is too old fashion and they should have used colloquium. Right?

Quote 4: “Words are Hard”

So very true!

Quote 5: “The data made me shrug my eyebrows”

Should I be impressed with their abilities? How do you shrug your eyebrows?

Quote 6: The characters in my ethics training are named: Caucasian Woman, African American Woman and Wilson.

How exactly do you include a volleyball in ethics training?

Quote 7: HR lady: “This is not a staff meeting, I just need more cuddle time with the team.”

This is disturbing on many levels.

Quote 8: “This is something we pulled out of a rabbit’s hat.”

This is a new trick I would like to see. Their "something" must have been very small to fit in a rabbit's hat.

Quote 9: “What I said is my thoughts.”

I am glad they can use their words.

Quote 10: “There is really an itch behind the grayness you have to scratch.”

What?

Quote 11: “We’re just trying to grab some low hanging fruit...we’re not trying to solve world hunger...I don’t want to get into that food fight.”

There is a lot going on in this quote. I wonder if they wrote this down and just waited for the the right time to use it. Unfortunately, it makes no sense to talk about world hunger and a food fight in the same quote. One being the need for food and the other a waste of food. This seems to be a very conflicted person to me.

Nightlight Beaded Lampshades

My Mom use to make the cutest beaded lampshades for nightlights. She would make them for her children and grandchildren to put in their bedrooms, bathrooms or halls. I use mine in the guestroom for our grandchildren when they stay over, or in the hall for guests to be able to see their way around at night.

Last years Christmas shades

The Champagne and Crystal shades 

The lamp shades are easy to make and they take just a few supplies. The last two years I helped my grandchildren make them for their teacher's Christmas gifts. I bought a dozen nightlights at The Home Depot and then we made two or three lampshades for one nightlight.

We made red, green, white and clear shades for Christmas, and then champagne or crystal colored shades for their teachers to use the rest of the year. My Granddaughter also made a multi colored shade that looks like stained glass. The kids have such a great time making the shades, and it doesn't take a long time so they don't lose interest before they finish a shade.

The supplies needed to make the shades include, large silver safety pins with a hole on the bottom, tribeads in the colors you desire, 6mm round beads, 8mm round beads and a light weight wire. The beads work best if they are not solid colors, but a translucent color.

Step one: Count out 11 safety pins and open them.

A large safety pin with the hole in the bottom. 

Step two: Pick a color and Pattern for your shade. Each pin will hold 12 tribeads. The bottom ring of the pin will be the top of the shade.

Tribeads and round beads for the project.

Step three: String the tribeads onto the pins and then close the pins. I was able to get 12 beads onto each pin, but my Mom made hers with only 11 beads.

This pin has 11 beads on it, but make it with 12 if you can. All brands of pins are different.

Step four: Pick out 11 small and 11 large beads in coordinating colors. The small beads will be on the top of the shade and the large beads on the bottom.

8mm round crystal beads for the bottom of the shade.

6mm round crystal beads for the top of the shade.

Step five: Cut two pieces of wire about 10 to 12 inches long.

A light weight jewelry wire.

Step six: Lay the beaded pins in a row, bead side up, with the clasp on the bottom.

Step seven: Along the top of the pins lay a small bead to the left of the first pin and then in between the top of each pin in the row. Do the same with the large beads at the bottom of the pins in the row.

Step eight: Take a wire and bend a small hook on one end. Now, take the straight end and string it through the small bead, then the small hole in the end of the pin, and continue stringing bead then, pin, until you have all pins and beads on the wire. Then repeat the process with the bottom of the row. String a large bead then put the wire through the round hole in the pins clasp. Continue stringing large bead, then pin, until all the beads and pins are on the wire at the bottom of the row.

The wire is strung through the bead, then through the hole in the pin, on the top and

 bottom.

Step nine: Grab both ends of each wire to form a circle and twist the ends of the top wire together making a tight circle at the top of the shade, and do the same with the bottom wire. Twist the wire for about a quarter of an inch or so and then clip off the rest of the wire. Use a pair of needle nose pliers and bend the end of the twisted wire into the middle of the beads.

Pulling the wires together on the top and bottom of the shade.

Twist the wires together tightly so the shade forms a solid circle.

Cut the wires off and bend them into the beads of the shade.

Step ten: Put the shade on the nightlight, plug it in, turn it on, and enjoy your creation.

One of the Christmas shades lit up.

This one reminds me of a crystal chandelier

My 3 year old Granddaughter made this stained-glass shade.

Christmas at the DeGolyer House

Since we moved to the Dallas area we have taken the trip to the Dallas Arboretum to see the "12 Days of Christmas" display, and the Christmas themed display at the DeGolyer House that sits in the middle of of the Arboretum.

The DeGolyer House

The Front of the DeGolyer House

Born in 1886, Everette Lee DeGolyer was a leader in oil and gas exploration, and even invented a scientific method for finding oil. "De", as he was known, also was the owner of the"Saturday Review of Literature" and other publications. His library on Spanish Colonial American is one of the largest in the world. He was known as a renaissance man and as the "father of geophysical exploration'. You should really research Mr. Degolyer and his history because it is fascinating.

De met Nell at the University of Oklahoma, they married and had children. While living in Texas and in their middle age they built the Rancho Encinal, a Spanish Colonial house, on White Rock Lake in 1939. The CEO of the Arboretum said, "They knew exactly what they wanted." The house was the first in Dallas to have air conditioning, along with large closets, drop ceilings and screened in doors. They were definitely ahead of the times. This was a 44 acre estate with a 4 1/2 acre formal garden that overlooked White Rock Lake. The DeGolyers lived in the home for the rest of their lives. After the death of their mother the children donated the estate to Southern Methodist University. The city of Dallas purchased it from SMU and built the Arboretum around it.

At Christmas the house is turned into a themed museum of sorts. We have been through the house the last three years and it is simply amazing. The first year it was decorated with Santa Claus' from all over the world. Most rooms also have a decorated Christmas tree that they change the decorations on each year. Below are a few pictures of the year featuring Santa Claus.

Last year the DeGolyer House was decorated with Nutcrackers from several different collectors. I have never seen that many nutcrackers in one place. They were funny, detailed and beautiful. Below are a few pictures of the year of the nutcracker.

I had to take a picture of the Hockey player Nutcracker.

This year the Christmas theme for the house was, "The Artistry of the Nativity." There are not only nativities from all over the world in all the open rooms, but the atrium had a life size nativity.

Below are just a small sample of the all the beautiful nativities and trees displayed this year in the DeGolyer House at the Dallas Arboretum.

This is part of a nativity display that included a temple in the town of Bethlehem. 

A Mouse Nativity? I am not sure why.

This Wiseman and Camel were life size.

I love the nativity on the Angel's skirt.

This was the life size Nativity in the atrium. It was night, so the picture was a bit dark, but you get the idea.

This was the creepiest picture I took that night. The picture of Nell DeGolyer looks like she is holding a candelabra in her hands like an the angel standing over the nativity.

You can tour the DeGolyer House year round when you visit the Dallas Arboretum, but it is very special at Christmas time when the house is full of beautiful and unique Christmas collections.

Fun with Cutout Cookies

Each year on Christmas Eve our Children and Grandchildren come to our house where we eat a big meal, and we make iced cutout sugar cookies. Our grandchildren, Victor 5 and Mae 3, are always so excited to make the cookies. They get to roll out the dough and cut out the shapes. Then when the cookies are baked they get their own plate of icing, like a painters pallet, a plate for the cookies they are icing, their own plastic knife for spreading the icing, and all the sprinkles and toppings they want. They make a few cookies for Santa all the while licking their fingers, and sometimes their knife, which is why they get their own supplies. Then when they are finished with Santa's cookies they make a few of their own to eat right away.

Our Grandchildren get their own icing wheel and decorating plates and knives.

Victor's creations for Santa

Mae's creations for Santa.

We have been making cutout cookies with our kids on Christmas Eve since the 90's so the excitement level from the adults when I mention cookie decorating is always lukewarm at best. Yet, when the baked cookies are done and the cups of colored icing with knives are set out, you cannot keep them away. The last few years it has turned into an unspoken competition on how to turn the designated cookie shape into something entirely different. It shows great imagination and skill when all they have to work with is a knife and soft icing. 

Below are pictures of some of their creations from the last few years. The first picture is of a few of the cookie cutter shapes we use each year. They try to not repeat a creation from the following year.

You will also see I am using my new Christmas tablet pencil on the pictures. I wrote the cookie cutter shape  on the left and what it was made into, just in case you couldn't guess, on the right.

Thank goodness they are not judged on neatness, lol.

These are pictures of the unique cookies, but there are so many that are beautiful snowmen, stars, snowflakes, mittens, Christmas trees and many more that may not be as fun to make, but are still beautiful creations that taste just as delicious.