Amusing and Absurd Meeting Quotes

I get quotes sent to me all the time. These are quotes that people say in meetings, or forums,
that either leave you laughing or scratching your head.

Quote 1: “We don’t want to go down a slippery slope and fall into a rat hole”.

This is obviously someone who is cautious of the outdoors.  Afraid of slopes and rats.  I think they may have meant a rabbit hole, but at least they stuck with an animal hole.

Quote 2: “There ain't a dog too dead to kick one more time.”

Why is this person kicking dogs at all, let alone a dead one. PETA needs to pay this person a visit.
I would guess this same person also beats a dead horse.

Quote 3: Associate: “Make sure to document all of this because this is great for the symposium.” New Hire: “What is a symposium.” Associate: “We have some work to do.”

This one is a vocabulary problem. Obviously the word symposium is too old fashion and they should have used colloquium. Right?

Quote 4: “Words are Hard”

So very true!

Quote 5: “The data made me shrug my eyebrows”

Should I be impressed with their abilities? How do you shrug your eyebrows?

Quote 6: The characters in my ethics training are named: Caucasian Woman, African American Woman and Wilson.

How exactly do you include a volleyball in ethics training?

Quote 7: HR lady: “This is not a staff meeting, I just need more cuddle time with the team.”

This is disturbing on many levels.

Quote 8: “This is something we pulled out of a rabbit’s hat.”

This is a new trick I would like to see. Their "something" must have been very small to fit in a rabbit's hat.

Quote 9: “What I said is my thoughts.”

I am glad they can use their words.

Quote 10: “There is really an itch behind the grayness you have to scratch.”

What?

Quote 11: “We’re just trying to grab some low hanging fruit...we’re not trying to solve world hunger...I don’t want to get into that food fight.”

There is a lot going on in this quote. I wonder if they wrote this down and just waited for the the right time to use it. Unfortunately, it makes no sense to talk about world hunger and a food fight in the same quote. One being the need for food and the other a waste of food. This seems to be a very conflicted person to me.