Amusing and Absurd Meeting Quotes: Part 2

This is my second edition highlighting quotes that I have received from family and friends. These quotes will make you ponder, laugh, or most likely, just scratch your head.

Quote 1: "It takes a village when we are pulling rabbits out of a hat."

I am not sure if this is the same person that pulled something out of a rabbit's hat in the last edition, but I sure hope there is only one person that has a strange obsession with rabbits and hats.

Quote 2: HR Lady, "What Emoji are you today?"

😕 Confused Face.  How old is this woman and where did she go to school? Facebook University?

Quote 3: "This isn't the meeting to slice and dice; we don't need to get into a dart-throwing session."

This sounds like a bad game show. Slicing, Dicing and Dart-throwing!

Quote 4: "Put it as one number, don't give it to them segregatedly."

I love it when people just make up words and then use them in meetings. Why not just use the word separately and not look like an idiot.

Quote 5: "Make a decision. Don't just dabble your toes in the water." 

This manager would have sounded more forceful with their statement if he/she had just stopped at "Make a decision." It sounds like they were just dabbling their toes in the water by watering it down.

Quote 6: "Everyone yells at you. You're easy to yell at."

My response would be to yell "I QUIT!!!!"

Quote 7: "You're up stream of that, and I appreciate it."

Just don't dabble your toes in the stream, right?

Quote 8: "I am going in a similar direction from a different line of attack."

This person gets extra points for using opposite words (similar and different) in the same sentence. This quote is as clear as mud.

Quote 9: "They need to get off top dead center, or we're going to be dead in the water."

I see dead people!

Quote 10: "If we get our nose in the tent, this thing will really explode."

Is putting your nose in a tent some kind of igniter? What kind of business are they running?

Quote 11: "I just wanted to dot all my I's and T's."

When did we start dotting T's? First we stop teaching cursive writing, now we are dotting T's. What is next, crossing I's?

Sometimes I wonder how the associates at these meeting don't just bust out laughing.